Why Lost? Why "LostGirl?" Why? I'm asked that often enough that I've gotten the shortest answer. Because I'm Fucking Lost/ No, I don't mean mentally Lost... Though at times I admit it would be easier to claim mental issues some days. But, sadly,,, No I'm in pretty good control of my mental faculties. I can only blame my present situation on my self. I don't know, I feel so different about so many things that nothing really feels family anymore, aside from my kids and a few friends. Married for damn near 18 years, living through hell and back only to end up here? I really don't get it. I've fought my whole life to have a family of my own and you just Stop being You. No warnings, No goodbyes or explanations other then I'm not good enough for you and your God now. For years I was the "Spiritual one" while you believed in nothing... Well, nothing but tearing me down for my beliefs, Burning my library, refusing to see me perform....It's really always been about you though hasn't it? What YOU think....
I used to give a fuck about what you thought... and I honestly try to still care. You only share a vomited out version of some Televangelist, who has you making everyone around you your enemy all of sudden. NO one is good enough anymore. We aren't allowed to love life anymore. It's all a FUCKING Sin in yours eyes and I'm breaking! STOP Trying to fix me I'm NOT Broken, You make me feel like such shit about myself.,,,,
Myself... I am by myself. Yes, I have my children. But I was adopted at the of 7 and since then my entire adoptive family have past on. I also get to hear you debate over my loved ones eternal life "Heaven" or "Hell"... Seriously? Shut the fuck up. You haven't lost anyone and I've Lost people my entire life and now You want me to Loose MYSELF... I can't do that for you.
I'm literally going to have to start out alone.... I'm Lost. and those crossroads ...
just trying to figure shit out. I wish this was all a bad dream
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